


where am i? what day is it? is steve here? am i ill?

by lindt_barton



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Excessive use of italics, Gen, HYDRA are pricks, Post Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, catws
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 16:26:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1476307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindt_barton/pseuds/lindt_barton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when bucky wakes up he says <em>where am i? what day is it? is steve here? am i ill?</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	where am i? what day is it? is steve here? am i ill?

when bucky wakes up he says _where am i? what day is it? is steve here? am i ill?_ before they get to programming him and it falls away into animal screams. it is this same routine repeated each waking. _where am i. what day is it. is steve here. am i ill._ each reprogramming _._ his questions are never answered.

some time after the tenth cycle it starts to break down. _where am i. is. when. what are you._ no one notices. people never work on this project long enough to see the change. they end up knowing too much. and dead. it would have been a useful thing to notice. _where is he._ it is not clear to whom he refers. his question is answered with a mission brief. 

a new arm is fitted. the mechanisms had not been designed to be frozen for twenty years. they are now. when he is woken to test the new arm he no longer asks questions. he snarls and the nurse, who does not yet know too much, does not stand a chance. the test is marked as a success. a phone call is made to the family. 

 _who the hell is bucky._ no answer is provided.  _the man on the bridge. who was he._ two answers are provided.  _you met him earlier in the week on another assignment._ _i knew him._ these answers are removed. the questions are removed. a mission is provided.

 _your name is james buchanan barnes._ the mission does not comply _._ the mission will not back down. the mission will not fight back. the mission will not _SHUT UP._ answers are provided.  _you're my friend._ to questions which have not been asked. _then do it._ the mission is incomplete.

when he wakes up he thinks  _where am i._ _what time is it. who is steve rogers. who is bucky barnes._ it is the same routine repeated each waking. followed by targets based on the current answers. each cycle new answers are provided. the routine changes.  _what time is it? who am i? where is steve?_

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the woman with amnesia in [this Radiolab episode](http://www.radiolab.org/story/161754-repeat/).


End file.
